Golden hello? I'd have settled for a golden shower. When I came to work here, I got an ID badge and 30 days probation.

The email I sent them:


Their response:



The attached statement is a "Penalty of Perjury Statement." Ha! Did we learn nothing from Martha Stewart?

Take a phlying phuck, Wes.

If you need to contact Wes or anyone else at MAS, or you simply wish to fax-blast their Compliance Center offices, here is their contact info:

Actually, it's a wave file:

Body of Christ

Others

This looks like a scam. And the letter I received smells like a phishing expedition. Notice I've been coming across more and more of these outfits posing as para-municipal/quasi-governmental organizations.

Ever get the feeling that if you removed all the graft, corruption, puffery, and motivational training seminar bullshit from the system, the American economy would be effectively stagnant?

Just read this article:

Should IE stay or should IE go?

Duh. Should malaria stay or go?

What a bullshit apology for the status quo. Barely disguised Microsoft propaganda. To wit:

In other words, it's bloat-ware, with a lot of dangerous bundled features a superior browser doesn't want or need.

Rodney Thayer, you are a Microsoft whore. ( And a gay right-wing male escort?) Makes me suspect this whole rag is just a front for promoting Microsoft products.

And I think I figured out now why the Bill Gates Foundation supports The Discovery Institute -- because they probably recognize the debate between natural selection and intelligent design as a proxy for the conflict between open source and closed source software development. It's another front for Microsoft flunkies to advance their delusional self-serving ideology.

Ingram-Micro has the shittiest customer support system I have ever encountered. And I deal with HP on a regular basis!

Some jackass misread the packing list and sent me the wrong product. Now I've spent a half-hour trying to get someone on the phone who will solve the fucking problem. Number of times I've ended up back at the beginning of the phone tree: 5 and counting.

This is better than socialism how?

Not only have I been on hold for 45 minutes, but I only get 2 weeks of vacation a year.

I guess we found out who the real tree huggers are.

If the people praying for Terri Schiavo were really sympathetic, they'd realize this is an utterly moot point. As far as she herself is concerned, none of it matters -- at least any more than a hearing over whether or not to cut down a tree matters to the tree. (It matters to the people, on either side, who think the cutting down or not cutting down of the tree contributes to their quality of life.) But she can't be concerned. It's physically impossible for her to be. In the dim twilight of her sentience, none of it is even happening.

If pro-lifers were able to somehow miraculously bring Schiavo back, the first thing she'd probably do is kill herself. Remember, this is a woman who was so obsessed with her body image, that she effectively starved her brain to death. It's tragic. But it's impossible to undo the damage. There's no higher brain function. And she's beyond 21st-century rehabilitation. I confess I don't know all the details. But if there is anyone who does, it's the Federal judges who have reviewed this case.

You want to save her life, you Republican hypocrites? Subpoena her to testify before congress. Nominate her to a federal judgeship. Or better yet, have her run for president.

Bill in Sales showed this to me. One of his leads. First time I've ever seen an actual hacked site out in the wild like this.

Hum or whistle Christmas carols around the office. Leave a candy cane on your desk. Tell colleagues and acquaintances that you hope to finish all your shopping this weekend. Put on a sweater with goofy reindeers or snowflakes on the front of it.

For as long as it takes to load anything, it should be called The Central Bureaucracy of the Internet.

The recording said that it was an important message: 1-800-279-9525

By the way, I just noticed that there's no Wikipedia entry on Lawrence Ferlinghetti. I bet the Encyclopedia Britannica even has an entry on him.

So I broke down and bought "Rock 'n Roll Fantasy" online -- my first 99¢ online song purchase. Not iTunes -- Dell Musicmatch. It was more convenient. So the RIAA wins. But I still hate their motherfucking money-grubbing guts.

But like Dan, I'm a fan, and sometimes it's the only thing that gets me by.

Remember this?



It finally arrived. Only a month a month after I ordered it online.

Calling it "The Ultimate Collection" is a bit of hyperbole. What kind of Ultimate Collection doesn't include "Yes Sir No Sir", "Black Messiah," or "Rock n' Roll Fantasy"?

That line deserves an Ace Award.

(Do they still hand out Ace Awards?)

I've been on the phone with them now for over an hour. I've had to start over with their phone tree three times. Three times. Three times. Each time I have to re-enter my phone number three times before I get some flunky on the line who I get to explain my problem to all over again.

Help. I need a new cellular company. Help. Please. Help.

Stumbled across this. Kinda funny. I think I know one of the prophets involved. One of the better uses I've seen for the Blogger Scribe style sheet.

Hasn't been much scoring on either side lately. The Gov. threatened to put a couple points up on the board with his proposal to get rid of junk food at public schools (an oft hashed idea, but never with this much political clout -- clod? -- behind it before) and his maverick acknowledgement of steroid use. But he backtracked on the latter, and the former is probably just a way to further distract attention from the nonchalant steroid endorsements.

Tomohiro, on the other hand, scores big today. Today's Quotation of the Day from the New York Times:



This almost a two-point round for me.

Indeed, the hubris is so hyperbolic that I'm a little scared that it may end up being a winner for him. You know how much Americans nowadays love arrogant, unapologetic rich hypocrites.

Tomohiro 8
The Governor 8

Somebody found my secretly stashed Pepsi while I was out. Now I have to drink water like some kind of a peasant.

May it become a cherished part of the vernacular.

Act like it's Thursday.

e.g. When your boss says, "Where the hell are you? It's time for the meeting I've been reminding you about all week." You say, "Wait, that's not until tomorrow." And he says, "We're all waiting for you over in 3-C right now, numbnuts." And you're like, "Wait, it's Friday?" And he's says, "Nevermind about the meeting. You're fired." And you're like all, "Right on. Now I'll never be confused about what day of the week it is. Because it's all-Friday, all-the-time for me from now on."

The irony: you were never really confused about what day of the week it was in the first place.

Remember this?



The early Valentine's gift I got for myself?

The fucking thing still hasn't arrived!

I order it through some merchant, music_media, on Amazon because Amazon itself didn't have any ready for next day shipment. I emailed the merchant for a second time yesterday requesting a tracking number. This is the response I got:



Oh, no charge to me? That's fucking generous of you.

Probably a couple of Florida trailer park rube who set up this Amazon front as a side business to their weekend flea market operations.

Now I can't even respond to their cracker email because Gmail isn't working. Nothing's going right! I'm madder than Ray Davies in a recording studio with his brother.