The Sh*t L*st

San Diego Lifeguards go on the shit-list until someone apologizes to me for the wave one of their rank-and-file took from me this afternoon at Blacks. I hope that asshole was off-duty, or at least on his lunch break. In any event, he was wearing the red trunks and riding the SUV-sized paddleboard -- the one with the handles and marked in bold black letters LIFEGUARD -- of the San Diego Lifeguard. As if the surf lineup wasn't crowded and violent enough already, we got these beachball cowboys -- who are paid to preserve public safety -- contributing to the already dangerous shortage of good waves in Southern California. Asshole paddles right outside of me where I'd been patiently waiting for 20 minutes for a final wave in. A sweet chest high peak finally pops up and redneck doesn't even split it, but calls me off the left. If elected governor of the state of California, I promise to bring the full powers of the state to bear in hunting down this freckler and punishing him and his corrupt cronies to the full extent of the special law I will impose in the wake of this horrible tragedy. I ended up waiting another 20 minutes for a desperation closeout. Kiss a fucking jellyfish, Hasselhoff.