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Thursday, August 31, 2006
In Defense of the Dog Whisperer
Surprised to find a scathing critique of Cesar Millan in the New York Times op-ed section this morning by Mark Derr, "the author of Dog’s History of America: How Our Best Friend Explored, Conquered and Settled a Continent. I'm no dog expert -- I'm not even a dog owner -- but I call bullshit on the following claims:

Mr. Millan brings his pastiche of animal behaviorism and pop psychology into millions of homes a week. He’s a charming, one-man wrecking ball directed at 40 years of progress in understanding and shaping dog behavior and in developing nonpunitive, reward-based training programs, which have led to seeing each dog as an individual, to understand what motivates it, what frightens it and what its talents and limitations are. Building on strengths and working around and through weaknesses, these trainers and specialists in animal behavior often work wonders with their dogs, but it takes time.

Read: 40 years of extending the Standard Social Science Model to dogs. It is this humanizing ideology that has led to most the problem Cesar solves. Tell the average dog-owner to treat her dog as an individual full of motivations, fears, talents, and limitations, and she's going to treat it like her child. Result: aggressive and/or neurotic dog. (I've always felt the Cesar could do a lot for the state of child-rearing in the country -- a proposition since explored by South Park.) The pop psychology, incidentally, is for his clients, the owners. As he says, he rehabilitates dogs, it's people he trains. That's what they respond to.

The notion of the "alpha pack leader" dominating all other pack members is derived from studies of captive packs of unrelated wolves and thus bears no relationship to the social structure of natural packs, according to L. David Mech, one of the world’s leading wolf experts. In the wild, the alpha wolves are merely the breeding pair, and the pack is generally comprised of their juvenile offspring and pups.

A "captive pack of unrelated wolves" -- sounds like the perfect description for a suburban dog-owning family to me.

More important, aggression often has underlying medical causes that might not be readily apparent — hip dysplasia or some other hidden physical ailment that causes the dog to bite out of pain; hereditary forms of sudden rage that require a medical history and genealogy to diagnose; inadequate blood flow to the brain or a congenital brain malformation that produces aggression and can only be uncovered through a medical examination. Veterinary behaviorists, having found that many aggressive dogs suffer from low levels of serotonin, have had success in treating such dogs with fluoxetine (the drug better known as Prozac).

In other words, let's boost America's annual spending on health care for its dogs above that which it spends on its people.

Serotonin is an interesting socially responsive neurochemical and the veterinary behaviorists' claim seems entirely consistent with Cesar's philosophy and methods. That is, I suspect putting a dog in its place will regulate its serotonin levels much more effectively than an expensive drug habit.


Maybe the Dog Whisperer's methods are a quick fix for a more complicated problem in some instances. But let me make the case that that is all dogs deserve. After all, they're not people, they're dogs.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
somebody's been googling himself
Posted this little tale a few days ago. Today I got an email:

digg it

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Saturday, August 26, 2006
The Power Within
Just saw this on a New York Times web ad:

www.powerwithin.com

I guess this is the left-of-center blue-state version of that right-wing treacle I mentioned here. At least they have a website.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
1-888-265-2242
Another call from another douchebag trying to get some deadbeat to pay her fucking bill. Except the deadbeat listed my fucking number. And now I got these douchebags harrassing me.

Goddammit, Sandy! Pay off your fucking Nordstrom's card, or whatever the fuck it is. Then call these douchebags back:

1-888-265-2242 x.3379
Holy Shit! I just saw my mom on pornotube!
I didn't. But I wonder who will be the first kid who gets to say that.
Get Motivated!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Someone would really pay $50 to go to this? Zig Ziglar? Joe Montana? What is this, 1988? They don't even have a fucking website!
Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim
This would be my idea of hell, except that this is probably what passes as secularism today.

You want to improve your morale? Save yourself the money and get one of these.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
I just remembered -- I have a myspace profile.
finally, the youtube you've been waiting for
Monday, August 14, 2006
The Freakiest AOL Searcher
With the mishandled publication by AOL of its user search data last week, a number of new internet parlor games have emerged. Among them: who's the scariest AOL subscriber who had his search data made public last week?

Opinion seems divided between User #927 and User #336865.

Frankly, I'm not too impressed with either. I was looking up "japanese child slave molestation and rape porn" back in the days of Northern Lights. I've searched for much freakier shit on Google.
Friday, August 11, 2006
On the Latest Foiled Terrorist Plot
A couple insightful comments from Slashdot:

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:
(Score:5, Insightful)
by Atario (673917) on Thursday August 10, @07:49PM (#15886395)

Airline security is a joke. And it's on us.

Next attack attempt: weapons/substances smuggled in via anally-inserted container

Response: All passengers must submit to anal probe prior to takeoff. You may request a same-sex examiner, but it may delay you further.

Next attack attempt: weapons/substances swallowed, produced in-flight either by regurgitation or timed bowel movement

Response: All passengers must submit to a 24-hour fasting/emetic/diuretic/laxative regimen before takeoff. Water will be provided; outside drinks not allowed. You must use the provided toilet facilities to ensure proper testing/inspection of waste.

Next attack attempt: a team of guys trained to bite effectively

Response: All passengers must have all teeth removed prior to takeoff. There will be two dentists on duty per airport to process the unprepared, but lines will be long, so plan ahead.

Next attack attempt: regular old martial arts

Response: Seats eliminated; all passengers shall be assigned a sealed 3' x 3' x 8' pen and will be locked in for duration of flight.

Next attack attempt: guys wait near airports with surface-to-air rockets

Response: All buildings/cities/people removed from all airports to a distance of five miles, and land paved (and landfill created, if near water); round-the-clock patrols and spotters emplaced, with orders to shoot on sight anyone straying from the single barbed-wire/barrier-encrusted access road.

Next attack attempt: bomb detonated and/or machine guns deployed in by-now immense crowd waiting to get through initial security checkpoint

Response: ????

How far does this idiocy go before we decide there must be a better way, folks? Hm?
--
Foreshadowing: "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier...just as long as I'm the dictator..." -Bush


Re:Which side are you on?
(Score:5, Insightful)
by shmlco (594907) on Thursday August 10, @09:35PM (#15886893)

"This news is about a STOPPED attack."

Well... just to be contrary... and putting on my tinfoil hat, the news is that, as far as we've been told, some 24 as yet unnamed people in London and Pakistan have been detained under anti-terror laws and can be held incommunicado for a month while investigation continues. The British government has said that an attack on trans-atlantic flights was imminent, but I've yet to hear about any actual bombs, materials, or detonators found.

Though if the ingredients are indeed "common" household chemicals, I've no doubt that some ex-girlfriend's bottle of peroxide in their medicine cabinet is now proof enough to get them sent away. Heck, I'VE got peroxide at home, AND I have a camera with a flash.

The point being that at this point in time there's a whole lot of pontification, and very few facts. Everyone, even Wired, is running the same damned AP article. And for some reason I'm strongly reminded of the other highly ballyhooed and recently foiled "plot", by individuals with no money, training, materials, plan, or even shoes...
--
Want the root password to the US Constitution? Try "Child Porn"
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
503-426-3115
Fucking motherfucking goatfuckers -- they keep calling me. I don't know what they're up to, but I know it's no good because:

1. they keep calling
2. they don't leave a message
3. I also get calls from 503-426-3110 and 503-426-3111

probably collectors on some douchebag who put down my phone number

keep it up, assholes
Friday, August 04, 2006
Rise of the Slime
In many places — the atolls of the Pacific, the shrimp beds of the Eastern Seaboard, the fiords of Norway — some of the most advanced forms of ocean life are struggling to survive while the most primitive are thriving and spreading. Fish, corals and marine mammals are dying while algae, bacteria and jellyfish are growing unchecked. Where this pattern is most pronounced, scientists evoke a scenario of evolution running in reverse, returning to the primeval seas of hundreds of millions of years ago.

Jeremy B.C. Jackson, a marine ecologist and paleontologist at the Scripps Institution of Oceanography in La Jolla, says we are witnessing "the rise of slime."

-- A Primeval Tide of Toxins (latimes.com)


Thanks, Capitalism!
Tony Stephens at LincolnTrust
Initially Tony Stephens cold called me offering to refer new clients to me. I brushed him off, figuring his time would be better spent suckering in the next rube on his call list.

Apparently, what I took for a one-off annoying phone soliciation was actually the start of a dynamic new business partnership. This morning he sent me the following email:



And then this one:



Yeah, I eagerly await your call.

The application requests a check for $195. I didn't bother to open the letter.

If you would like to take advantage of Tony's services, he can be contacted as follows:

Tony Stephens
LincolnTrust Insurance Group, Inc.
7040 W. Palmetto Park Road, Suite 641
Boca Raton, Florida 33433-3483
Phone: (561) 204-3130
tonystephensavp@yahoo.com

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