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Thursday, September 11, 2003
In honor of the second anniversary of 9/11, I republish the following recent email exchange between my sister and myself:
From: "Tomohiro Idokoro"
To: "Laurahiro Idokoro"
Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 8:14 PM
Subject: Re: THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
I'm sure Rush Limbaugh would beg to differ.
I'd remind you, but that would require you sending each email to me
alone first so that I could remind you, and then, once I reminded you,
sending it to me again. No way. No deal. I have a one-reading per
message rule. Tape a note to your monitor. Or send real jokes -- not
a series of cliches hiding an agenda.
Tomohiro
From: "Laurahiro Idokoro" <lidokro@sbc.global.com>
To: <tidokro@notmail.com>, et. al.
Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 11:24 AM
Subject: FW:
-----Original Message-----
From: Vince Chong [mailto:vincec@vci1.com]
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2003 11:44 AM
To: Laurahiro Idokoro; et. al.
Subject: FW:
Jason, pay attention...........
Subject: Fw: The Ant & the Grasshopper
"THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER"
CLASSIC VERSION...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and
laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out
in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
-------------
MODERN VERSION...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and
laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold
and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN show up to provide pictures of
the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this
be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,
and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy
Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in
front of the ant's house where the news stations film
the group singing "We shall overcome". Jesse then has
the group kneel down to pray to God for the
grasshopper's sake.
Tom Daschle & Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview
with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off
the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his
"fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity
and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the
beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing
to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his
home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and
the case is tried before a panel of federal judges
that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent
welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up
the last bits of the ant's food while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain
it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related
incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over
by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
To: <tidokro@notmail.com>, et. al.
Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 11:24 AM
Subject: FW:
-----Original Message-----
From: Vince Chong [mailto:vincec@vci1.com]
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2003 11:44 AM
To: Laurahiro Idokoro; et. al.
Subject: FW:
Jason, pay attention...........
Subject: Fw: The Ant & the Grasshopper
"THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER"
CLASSIC VERSION...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and
laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out
in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
-------------
MODERN VERSION...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and
laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold
and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN show up to provide pictures of
the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this
be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,
and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy
Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in
front of the ant's house where the news stations film
the group singing "We shall overcome". Jesse then has
the group kneel down to pray to God for the
grasshopper's sake.
Tom Daschle & Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview
with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off
the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his
"fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity
and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the
beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing
to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his
home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and
the case is tried before a panel of federal judges
that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent
welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up
the last bits of the ant's food while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain
it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related
incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over
by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
From: Tomohiro Idokoro
Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 5:14 PM
To: <lidokro@sbc.global.com>, et. al.
Subject: Re: THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
Meanwhile, FOX News offers new headlines linking Gnat-Qaeda to tax
hikes.
The moral here is that this is how neocons, libertarians, and affiliated
dittoheads really think poverty in this country works.
Tomohiro
Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 5:14 PM
To: <lidokro@sbc.global.com>, et. al.
Subject: Re: THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
Meanwhile, FOX News offers new headlines linking Gnat-Qaeda to tax
hikes.
The moral here is that this is how neocons, libertarians, and affiliated
dittoheads really think poverty in this country works.
Tomohiro
From: "Laurahiro Idokoro"
To: "Tomohiro Idokoro"
Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 5:17 PM
Subject: RE: THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
Tomo... It was a joke. Remind me next time I email you something, to
blind carbon everyone else I email.
To: "Tomohiro Idokoro"
Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 5:17 PM
Subject: RE: THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
Tomo... It was a joke. Remind me next time I email you something, to
blind carbon everyone else I email.
From: "Tomohiro Idokoro"
To: "Laurahiro Idokoro"
Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 8:14 PM
Subject: Re: THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
I'm sure Rush Limbaugh would beg to differ.
I'd remind you, but that would require you sending each email to me
alone first so that I could remind you, and then, once I reminded you,
sending it to me again. No way. No deal. I have a one-reading per
message rule. Tape a note to your monitor. Or send real jokes -- not
a series of cliches hiding an agenda.
Tomohiro
From: "Laurahiro Idokoro"
To: "Tomohiro Idokoro"
Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 9:49 PM
Subject: RE: THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
...How about I just never email you a joke again. I knew you'd be
intrigued by the grasshopper one though.
To: "Tomohiro Idokoro"
Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 9:49 PM
Subject: RE: THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
...How about I just never email you a joke again. I knew you'd be
intrigued by the grasshopper one though.
From: "Tomohiro Idokoro"
To: "Laurahiro Idokoro"
Sent: Tuesday, September 09, 2003 10:04 AM
Subject: Live Ant on Grasshopper Action
> How about I just never email you a joke again.
You may as well save yourself the trouble as, don't worry, somebody else
will. Uncle Mike had forwarded this particular side-splitter to me only
a couple weeks ago. (And then again a few weeks before that.)
Talk to you soon,
Tomohiro
To: "Laurahiro Idokoro"
Sent: Tuesday, September 09, 2003 10:04 AM
Subject: Live Ant on Grasshopper Action
> How about I just never email you a joke again.
You may as well save yourself the trouble as, don't worry, somebody else
will. Uncle Mike had forwarded this particular side-splitter to me only
a couple weeks ago. (And then again a few weeks before that.)
Talk to you soon,
Tomohiro
From: "Laurahiro Idokoro"
To: "Tomohiro Idokoro"
Sent: Tuesday, September 09, 2003 11:28 AM
Subject: RE: Live Ant on Grasshopper Action
>You may as well save yourself the trouble as, don't worry, somebody
else will.
Done
Laura
To: "Tomohiro Idokoro"
Sent: Tuesday, September 09, 2003 11:28 AM
Subject: RE: Live Ant on Grasshopper Action
>You may as well save yourself the trouble as, don't worry, somebody
else will.
Done
Laura
