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Wednesday, January 21, 2004
As a Shit List, we don't really have the facilities to praise those things that please us as we should. If we did, I'd give major ass sumo props to WD-40. Is there anything that this stuff can't cure? Over the weekend, the seatbelt on my car stopped working. The straps come out of the door top and bottom and the bottom strap all of the sudden wouldn't release. There was enough slack in the top strap to barely cinch the belt. But I could only do this because of the weight I lost recently from the flu and by taking a deep breath. Driving around like this, it felt like Rosie McDonnell was performing a heimlich on me. Friends and family were telling me to junk my car and just start over. And if I would have had to stop short, I think the belt would have snipped me in half at the waist.

Well, yesterday I picked up a can of WD-40, liberally sprayed into the lower slot from which the belt emerged and, lo and behold, minutes later, the belt was looser than... well, you can finish this line.

If everybody was as thoughtful as WD-40, this Shit List probably wouldn't exist.